House Of Cards
by Renata Swift
Summary: How much do we, as inhabitants of the planet, know about our fellow citizens? Hardly anything." Ignorance really isn't bliss, as Artemis, Holly and That Indian Girl soon find out. ON HIATUS.
1. All Fall Down

_A/N: Original characters in this story (those not seen in the Artemis Fowl universe) belong to me, Renata Swift. Artemis Fowl, the universe, and all its characters belong to Eoin Colfer. Not to me. Sadly._

_**The inspiration for this story came to me in class (as most do). I really can't say what it's basis is, because I don't know myself. This will be my first proper story with chapters, but updates might be late. **__**R&R, please!**_

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**_**House of Cards

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**_**Chapter One – All Fall Down

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**Location: **_Sharjah, The United Arab Emirates_

It was hot, sticky, and a Friday night, and this was reason enough for the citizens of the humongous suburb of Rolla not to venture out of the cool air conditioning of their homes, even though most of them wanted to relax after a long and arduous week at work. The roads to Dubai, the next city, were usually clogged by six p.m., and absolutely unbearable after seven. The parking problem was an epidemic, and nobody was willing to lose the parking spaces they had fought for after returning from work.

Sharmista Varma hated Friday nights in Rolla for a different reason. The area in which she lived was home to a massive number of supermarkets and department stores, all selling goods at surprisingly cheap prices, and the thousands of labourers from the hundreds of construction sites in the region came by the busload to do their weekly shopping. These were mainly workers from the Indian subcontinent, long away from their families, and women, for that matter. Needless to say, they were good gropers, and Sharmista was a favourite target, or so it seemed.

That particular Friday night, however, Sharmista was alone at home, much to her relief. After a heated debate between her parents, her mother had won out, and they had decided to go to the huge Ikea store in Dubai's Festival City to buy a much-needed dining table. Grabbing the opportunity, she had packed a duffel bag full of the items that were necessary for the little adventure she was embarking on that night. She stuffed her house keys in the front pockets of her khaki pants, and after locking the front door, caught the building lift, and headed off to the abandoned power station on the corner of her street.

However, the power station did not seem very abandoned that night, thanks to the Emirates News van parked in front of it. A large crowd had gathered around the power station to catch sight of the pretty reporter and the object of her attention. The fact that they might be on TV was an added bonus, too. Sharmista wriggled through the crowd and soon was able to stand directly behind the cameraman, who was taping the reporter for her segment on tomorrow's late night news programme.

"This is not the first time a hole of this kind has been found," she said. Apparently she was halfway into her fifteen minutes of fame. She gestured to the twenty-five metre hole in the ground next to her. "Only last week, two holes exactly like this one were found in a Santiago backstreet and in the middle of a Chicago street. This will be the sixteenth hole internationally to arouse interest. Causes are still uncertain, and geologists the world over have been stumped. Studies are being conducted, and tomorrow, a team of experts form Abu Dhabi will arrive to examine this latest one. Aida Al Ghurair, for Emirates News." She adjusted her _hijab _with a smile, and the cameraman yelled, "Cut!"

Slowly, the crowd began to disperse. The news team packed up as well, until Sharmista was the only person left on the scene. In the midst of the taping and all the confusion created by it, she had managed to sneak into the back lot and hide in the shadows until everyone had left. The night watchman came around the corner just as she put her bag down, causing her to inhale sharply and duck into the shadows once more. Whistling a popular Bollywood tune, he turned the corner, unlocked the main door into the power plant building, and shut the door behind him. As Sharmista slowly came out of the darkness, she heard him turn on the radio and sing tunelessly along to a song. She crept closer to the hole, and peered inside. _This was going to be a lot of fun_, she thought.

Zoning out for even a few seconds can be dangerous, as Sharmista soon discovered. She felt a rough had push her lightly from the back, and she let out a high-pitched scream as she tottered dangerously on the edge of the dark abyss. The same hand pulled her back, however, and Sharmista angrily turned around to find another dark skinned girl grinning at her.

"_Ghabra gayi, na?"_ the grinning girl asked. _Got scared, right?_

"_Saali! Andar pad jati toh?"_ _Idiot! What if I fell in?_

"Oh, come on, Misty, like I'd let you fall!" The girl put down the bag on her shoulder – identical to Sharmista's – and began pulling out rope from it. "Besides, isn't today's _maha-_plan to climb down the hole?"

"With safety equipment, stupid," Sharmista snapped. She grabbed the rope from the other girl, then suddenly gazed wide-eyed at her. "Laila, did you bring the glow sticks?"

"Five bucks, from Daiso." Laila pulled two transparent plastic sticks out of her bag, which were filled with a faintly coloured liquid. "Mamma was asking me what I wanted to do with them." She threw one stick to Sharmista, who caught it easily.

"What did you tell her, then? _Jhoot to bola hi hoga._" _You must've told her a lie._

"_Phir kya? Accha reason kya hai?" Then what? What is a good reason?_

"_Wo bhi sahi hai…" That is also true…_Sharmista trailed off. She looked into the hole.

"Nervous much?' Laila stared down the hole as well. "We have taken classes, you know."

"You're right. Let's check the depth." Sharmista bent her glow stick, which glowed a fluorescent yellow, and threw it down the hole. Then the strangest thing happened.

The stick landed at what seemed to be the bottom of the hole, but then slid off to the left. The hole was engulfed in darkness again.

"What the hell just happened?" Laila said, bewildered.

"I have no idea!" Sharmista replied, a little scared by now. She peered into the hole, but couldn't see anything at all. The only streetlight was metres away, a muted orange colour that lit up only an area around it. Laila pulled out her own stick, and bent it. "I'm throwing mine in," she announced. Sharmista said nothing to stop her. Laila bent over and threw the stick in. This time, the stick landed with a soft _plop_ and stayed put.

"There," Laila cried triumphantly, only to be silenced by Sharmista, who was still aware that the watchman was on the premises, and could come out at any sudden noise. "You should've thrown it right."

"Alright, then," Sharmista tied the rope around her waist. She threw the other end to Laila. "Hold me tight. I'm going in."

"Only to retrieve the stick. Don't try for yours, okay?"

"Obviously! Like there's anything else to do at the bottom of a hole!"

"Okay…go." Laila grabbed the rope tightly as Sharmista lowered her self into the hole. She could see a few broken pipes here and there, and the occasional cockroach scurried past across the walls. Sharmista blanched. Still, this was better than sitting at home and watching reruns of _According To Jim._

After what seemed like an eternity, Sharmista realized that the hole was way deeper than she had presumed. The opening of the hole was almost half its original size from where she was, till she finally felt her feet touch the base. "Found it!" she cried triumphantly, and she could hear Laila's muted response, along with a wave of her hand. The stick was barely inches away from her, and she was making her way towards it carefully, when she felt the ground give way beneath her. Her rope became slack, and she realized that Laila had let go.

Screaming loudly, she fell through the inky blackness until she felt clawed hands holding her. Opening her tightly shut eyes, she muffled a shriek at a sigh that she would not forget for the rest of her life. If she lived to have one, that is.

The six red eyes smiled evilly back at the whimpering teen.

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_**Will be continued...I love cliffhangers.**_

_**Renata Swift**_


	2. Five Feet, Seven Inches

**_Here is the second chapter. I decide to post it simultaneously along with Chapter One so that everyone can get a feel of what is going on. R&R, please!

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**House of Cards

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**_**Chapter Two – Five Feet, Seven Inches

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**Location: **_Section Eight Headquarters, Haven City, The Lower Elements_

Holly Short was sweating. Hard. Her tiny fingers massaged the keys on the controller, and every muscle in her body twitched at a sight only she could see. A soft squeaking sound was heard, and then a metallic voice announced over the computer's speakers, "Mission over, Captain Short. You saved 733 civilians."

Holly pulled off the visual helmet to see a grinning Foaly. "How was it?" he asked excitedly. "Good enough?"

"So good it was scarily real at times. Good work, old friend. You'll make Vinyaya proud." Holly smiled though her matted hair. After spending nearly an hour and a half in the beta version of Foaly's new training simulator, she was exhausted. The night before had been strenuous, what with some of the ceilings in Haven City collapsing, and Holly had had to coordinate with the LEP, partly because Vinyaya felt that Holly needed to learn some diplomatic skills, and partly because Section Eight was neck-deep in what was really going on behind the scenes.

"So, they found another hole today," Foaly quipped as he put away the simulator's equipment – a controller, helmet, and console. Very old fashioned, but it worked fine, and it was, after all, only an early model.

"What? Where now?" Holly collapsed on the plush sofa Foaly had placed in his 'office'. She plucked a towel from her bag and began wiping her face with it.

"Sharjah, according to a news feed I was watching a few hours ago. Pretty reporter, though. Don't tell Caballine I said that."

Holly scowled. "Get serious, Foaly. It's getting worse, and we haven't been able to locate any information about this at all. Whoever's behind it has been pretty careful by now."

"Like Adeline Doogan." Foaly recalled the grisly murder of one of Haven City's most reclusive inhabitants. Adeline had long been suspected of Goblin Triad dealings, but nobody had ever managed to put the blame on her. The night she had been discovered in her upscale Upper Mount house, she had been seen arguing with Gilligan Mort, another suspected dealer, outside a fancy restaurant in the city. A neighbour had noticed the blood oozing out of Doogan's front door and called the police in body was in her living room – and her head was a couple of metres away.

"We don't really know if she was going to spill the beans on the holes."

"I agree. The whole thing is full of more holes than the Swiss cheese sitting in front of Jerry right now."

"Are you watching _cartoons?_" Unbeknownst to the mud men, _Tom & Jerry_ was quite a hit in Haven City and Atlantis.

"Someone has to keep a level head, Holly, and it's not you."

Suddenly Holly's communicator beeped, and at the same time Foaly's screen turned red to indicate an incoming video call. Holly shut off her bleeping communicator, and turned to the screen, where Commander Vinyaya's face shone in all its glory.

"Holly, you have to get down to the LEPrecon interrogation rooms, ASAP. Foaly, I want you to dig up surveillance from Candol Street for yesterday. We've got a hell of a problem today, and it's too big to be moved."

"How big, Commander?" Foaly asked, his interest piqued.

"About five feet, seven inches." The screen went blank.

"Five feet _what_?" Holly screamed at the screen, but it was too late. She had her orders.

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"Commander! Commander!" Vinyaya stopped in her tracks, and turned around to see a frantic Holly Short running up to her. "What did you mean by 'five feet, seven inches'?" Holly asked, her eyebrows raised. "It sounds like a height measurement."

"Unfortunately, that's what it is," Vinyaya said grimly, and she turned to a door beside her. The hallway was dimly lit, with paint cracks running down the wall. It gave the interrogated the illusion of a hard and somber place, which is exactly the atmosphere the interrogators needed to squeeze the truth out.

Vinyaya and Holly walked into a soundproof observation room, not unlike the ones used by police above ground. A one-way mirror showed the interrogation room, and in the corner of the observation room, a technical expert stood by to record the proceedings. However, as they turned to the mirror, Vinyaya looked not towards the interrogation room, but toward Holly Short's face.

Holly's jaw fell open.

Sitting in the interrogation room was an olive-skinned, slightly plump female human.

Her hands had a multitude of gashes, and her eyes were puffy. A dark bruise could be easily seen on her left cheek, and her clothes were torn in places. Strangely enough, she was wearing black pants and a black tee-shirt. She was obviously feeling cramped in the tiny room, and Holly gulped as the full meaning of Vinyaya's words sunk in.

"She was found on Candol Street in the morning. She was unconscious and badly beaten, as you can see. Tied to a lamppost," Vinyaya noted sadly. The girl looked as though she was in shock. "We treated her at the hospital down the road, then waited for her to regain consciousness. She hasn't hyperventilated about our existence yet."

"Who is going to talk to her?"

"You are, Holly. Hear what she has to say. Ask her everything. We fear this might have something to do with the situation…above ground."

"You think she fell through a hole? But none of them lead to Haven City!"

"She was tied to a lamppost, Holly! She might not have fallen through a hole, but someone down here caught hold of her and banged her up pretty badly. Whoever it was not smart, though. Candol Street gets pretty busy by eight, and I've never seen a criminal who ties his hostage up in public."

"I don't think I should do this, Commander." Holly turned towards the broken looking girl again. "Maybe we should just mind-wipe her and send her back to wherever she comes from."

"And lose any valuable information she might have? Not a chance. Interrogation first, mind-wipe later." Vinyaya motioned towards the girl. "Get in there, Holly. Get what you can out of her. This is no time for feelings."

Holly silently nodded, her heart swelling for the girl she was about to poke and prod. She left the observation room and walked into the interrogation room slowly. The girl looked up at the newcomer with a jolt, as though she had been struck with a bolt of electricity.

_This is not going to be pretty,_ Holly mused.

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_**Our dear old Arty will appear either in the next chapter, or in the one after that. He's there, and he's coming, so be patient!**_

**_Renata Swift_**


	3. Make Mine Mocha

_**Third chapter up! I'm trying my best to keep the updates coming, but since I'm doing a pretty important year in school, they might be a bit irregular. **_

_**This chapter is long! But it feels good to get it out of my system. Please, please, please R&R!  
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**_**House Of Cards

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**_**Chapter Three – Make Mine Mocha

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So far it had been an uneventful summer for Artemis Fowl the Second. Having finished his education at a rapid rate, he had realized that life at Fowl Manor was actually quite boring, and quite frankly, bothersome. Business dealings with his father, Artemis Fowl Senior, had reduced quite drastically, with his old man telling him that he was yet young, and he should take life easy. His mother, of course, knew all about his other 'dealings' and often chided him for taking too much of an interest in the world down below.

"They _want _to be alone, Arty, so leave them be. Look where all our meddling has got us – extinction of species," - Artemis gulped silently here - "global warming, and reduction of forest cover…We humans are so meddlesome."

"Maybe Arty needs friend," chirped young Beckett. Angeline beamed at her young son.

"But of course! That's a wonderful idea, Becky!" She turned to Artemis, who was pretending to be interested in the state of his nails. "What about your young French friend? What was her name now…Mandy? Maurine? No, no, Minerva! Why don't you invite her over for the summer? You'll have some fun then!" Angeline winked at her eldest son, whose face was so hot he felt as though he could fry three eggs on it.

And so, the eager young Minerva Paradizo was reluctantly invited over to the Emerald Isle for four weeks, an invitation she accepted with great glee. "We will do so much together, Artemis," she had oozed over the telephone. "Believe me; I look forward to hearing the tales of your latest escapades."

And so one and a half out of the four weeks of summer had passed, and Artemis Fowl was still bored stiff. Minerva had certainly grown even more beautiful over the years; unfortunately, the popular saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' had applied in this case, and Artemis was now sitting next to Minerva on a swing in the garden, pretending to listen to her tales of a thousand suitors.

"So I told Antonio to take a hike, and his father spat out the cheap Merlot he had been drinking," Minerva was talking rapidly, not seeming to notice that her company was getting drowsier by the minute. "Normally I would have said something smarter and snappier, but he just makes me so mad! I missed you, Artemis," said Minerva wistfully. "You are the first person I've met with whom I can have a perfectly decent conversation."

"Huh," said Artemis, blinking his way out of a reverie. _'Huh' isn't even a word. Buck up, Artemis. Don't let your IQ drop._

"Really! When you went missing just like that" - Minerva snapped her fingers in front of Artemis' face - "I thought you were dead! I used to visit Butler's little cottage by the sea, hoping that one day you would turn up. And you did," she beamed brightly, her sparkling white teeth blinding Artemis temporarily. _How on earth does she get her teeth to turn that shade of white? Must be the teeth whitening strips Myles found yesterday. I knew they weren't Father's. _

"I had nobody to discuss Scientific American or New Scientist but you," she went on. Artemis toyed with the idea of faking a phone call from her father to send her back to France, but it seemed too immature for him. "Everyone else is just so dense, you know? You have this air of _je ne sais quoi _about you…and you are fully appreciative of what people like me do."

"What?" Artemis bolted up. "What are you doing?"

"Didn't your mother tell you? I was talking about it over dinner last week." Minerva frowned. "Don't you recall? I was pretty loud, I believe."

The only thing Artemis recalled about that night was that he had been playing an international chess tournament online on his BlackBerry that night, under the enormous dining table. The boredom was absolutely unbearable. Butler, of course, had noticed this all too well and had been trying to get Artemis' attention, but he had been waved away impatiently by the genius. Not surprisingly, his parents had never noticed, because they had been too wrapped up in the charming young blonde girl who had been chatting excitedly about her new pet project with them.

"Um…I don't. Sorry," Artemis shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. Minerva scowled. "The Resource Kiln," she stated triumphantly, settling back into the swing.

"That was _you?_" Artemis spluttered. It wasn't as though he hadn't heard of this groundbreaking plan; in fact, almost everyone on the planet had heard of it by now. It was certainly a radical plan, though innovative, and Angeline Fowl was a strong supporter of the cause.

"Yes and no. The idea isn't all mine; Gerald Walden came up with one half of it. The plan has been submitted at the United Nations, and next week, in the General Assembly, they will either accept or reject it."

"I know. I've been following the project quite intently. Congratulations."

"Thank you." Minerva said softly as she looked toward the horizon. The sun was slowly sinking into the golden fields. Artemis made a note of every move she made.

After a long stretch of silence, Artemis spoke again. "I've only seen Walden's name crop up in articles about the Kiln. Where's all your publicity?"

"I'm too young, Papa says. Maybe if the project is approved I can go into the spotlight."

Artemis nodded, and looked down.

"So…what have you been up to so far? I've only talked about myself. You must have created a few hundred new inventions with all this spare time on your hands!"

"Not really. I help take care of the twins now."

"Artemis Fowl, taking care of children? _Pfuit,"_ Minerva snorted, laughing. "What on earth did you do for them; invent a cream that annihilates diaper rash?"

Artemis smiled weakly and looked away, fiddling with his cell phone. Apparently, Level 11 of _Snakes_ was pretty easy for him to get to.

Minerva sighed loudly. Things were not going as well as she had planned.

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Sharmista had not had a good day either. The red eyes had haunted her dreams, and she had floated in and out of hallucinations. Mostly they consisted of mythical creatures that smoked foul-smelling cigarettes and spoke back to her if she even opened her mouth. Needless to say, she hadn't spoken a word the entire time. She had been dragged out of a hospital when she had been feeling quite nauseous, been handcuffed and shoved quite roughly into a cramped van, and dragged into what she thought (and later confirmed) was a police complex. She realized that the short creatures around her were quite technologically advanced; she also realized that the sky was made up of artificial lights, which reminded her of a book she had at home about an underground city (she hadn't seen the movie yet).

So she asked one of the uniformed creatures to pinch her, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Seeing that she had been handcuffed, the creature wickedly smiled and sent a jolt of electricity through her left arm. Sharmista had screamed. Very, very loudly, for what seemed like the thirtieth time that day.

Once in the dingy room, she had waited patiently for Ashton Kutcher to walk through the door and inform her that she had been Punk'd, but when the door opened, another fairy-like creature in a uniform had come in with a file under her arm. This one was prettier than all the others, but one thing really stood out about her was the fact that one of her eyes was a deep hazel, and the other was an electric blue. Sharmista had never seen eyes like that before, and quite frankly, they seemed to hypnotize her.

"_Ab aapne hamare liye ek bahaut bada problem banaya hai," _the fairy purred, settling down into a chair on the other side of the table. This comment snapped Sharmista out of her drowsy state.

"You speak Hindi!" she cried out in bewilderment.

"And you speak English. Very well, then, for the purposes of this conversation, I shall begin again. You have created quite a problem for us now."

"_I_ have created a _problem_?" Sharmista yelled. The fairy seemed a little taken aback by her sudden outburst. "I am the one who has been banged up, tied to a lamppost in this horrible, claustrophobic city which no one else knows exists, and you tell me _you're _having problems! Tell me," she leaned over the table to look into the creature's mesmerizing eyes, "and tell me the truth. You owe me that much after all you have done to me. Is this place actually real, or is it in some corner of my deranged mind?"

"It's real," the fairy whispered. "It's real all right. But I don't understand what you said - what _we've_ done to _you_?"

"Hello? I'm not exactly in mint condition here, you know." Sharmista gestured towards her many injuries.

"We didn't do that to you! We found you like this on Candon Street today morning! We're the police here – why would we beat you up? Besides," the fairy opened the file she had brought in with her, "you aren't exactly someone we'd bring down here, if you've noticed."

"Down…here?" Sharmista asked weakly. "You mean, this entire city is subterranean?"

"You've got that right. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions about what happened to you. Do you mind if I tape this?"

"No. If I remember my movies – and I do – you'll mind wipe me later. Am I right?"

"You are a sharp one. First question: name, city, age."

"That's not a question."

"Alright, please state the following particulars: name, city, age." The fairy snapped, her voice still sounding as though it was coated in honey. A lock of her hair fell across the hazel eye, making the blue one stand out in the gloom. Sharmista shivered.

"Sharmista Varma, Sharjah, sixteen."

"What were you doing before you landed here?"

"The stupidest thing I ever dared to do in my life."

"Please elaborate the facts." Sharmista noticed that the fairy was making direct eye contact with her.

"What are you?" She blurted out loud without thinking. The fairy looked up from the file sharply.

"I'm sorry, I'm just curious. Are you a fairy?"

"No, I'm an elf. Now can you please answer the questions? I'm very annoyed right now."

"God, alright, Miss Snappy." Sharmista leaned back in her chair, and she felt some of the vertebrae in her back snap. That felt a lot better. "I was trying to climb down a hole."

The elf's eyes widened. "Sharjah…hole?" she repeated blankly. "The sixteenth hole? You tried to go _down_ it? Did you have a death wish? Do you even know what it is?"

Sharmista glared at the elf. "I was just looking for some fun…What the hell do you know about the hole? Do you know something we don't? Are they lethal or something?"

The elf snorted. "Have you ever seen a hole get up and kill someone?" Strangely enough, her voice still sounded sweet to the human girl's ears.

"Sarcasm is your weapon of choice, I see. I'll remember that." Sharmista began chewing on the nail on her thumb, a habit she actually despised. "So what do you know about the hole?"

"Same as you humans: absolutely nothing."

"But it does mean something to you. I wouldn't be here if it didn't."

"First you tell me how you ended up looking like the goldfish that got flushed down the toilet." The elf stared at Sharmista, and Sharmista stared right back.

"I got to the bottom of the hole, and I decided to pick up a glow stick that my friend had thrown into the hole to check its depth. Only after my feet touched the base did I realize that I was falling. I fell for quite some time, and then I landed in what felt like large, calloused hands. I opened my eyes to see six other glowing pairs. One of the hideous things held a lamp up to its face, and I was able to make out what it looked like." Sharmista shuddered. "It was the ugliest thing I'd ever seen. It had boils all over its face, with the reddest eyes and nose ever, like it was suffering from a hangover."

"Gremlins. I thought as much." The elf muttered.

"_Gremlins?_ You can't be…never mind. Why am I even telling you all this? I don't even know what is going on here; if you're some kind of a prank or something. Why am I not screaming in terror? Why am I being so submissive?"

The elf's eyes suddenly lost their hypnotic power, and Sharmista experienced a feeling of freedom deep down in her heart. "You hypnotized me," she breathed.

"It was necessary," the elf stated shortly. "Did the gremlins say anything at all?"

"Now how am I supposed to trust you? Nice going. I must have been your only witness." Sharmista crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm not talking."

The elf leapt out of her chair, temporarily startling the girl. She walked straight up to Sharmista and stuck a rather dangerous looking gun into her stomach.

"Listen now," she rasped, "and reply. What did they say? Was it in English?"

"Okay, okay," Sharmista backed away from the maddened officer. "Yeah, strangely enough, it was in English. One said, 'Gerald isn't going to like this.' The one with the lamp said, 'Let Bobby take care of her. We'll just give her a few souvenirs before we move on.' And then they hit me. The next thing I remember is waking up in a cramped bed at that hospital."

The elf looked strangely at Sharmista. "Are you sure they said Gerald and Bobby?"

"Sure as eggs are eggs. Can I go now? Or do you have to mind wipe me first?"

The elf walked around the room for a bit. A small device at her belt beeped, and she put her ear to it. The expression on her face went from frustration to surprise. After some time, she slowly clipped the device back on to her belt, and turned to the puzzled girl. She extended a hand to Sharmista, who cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't believe a mind wipe is quite necessary. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. My name is Captain Holly Short, and I work for a special unit called Section Eight. We need your help, Miss Varma, and if you would kindly follow me, I will show you to the person in charge. There's quite a bit of explaining to do, I'm afraid, and I'm not holding anything against you, but we don't usually ask humans for help, so this is something pretty big for all of us."

"First explain this to me: how is it that you all exist down here without us topsiders noticing?"

Holly smiled, relieved to be Good Cop again. "All will be explained, as I said, and there's a lot of it to be done. Are you in?"

"Hell yes!" Sharmista crowed. "I was looking for adventure, and now that I've found it, I'm not going anywhere. Lead they way, Captain Short."

Halfway out of the room, Holly turned to her newest ally. "Why weren't you screaming, by the way? I was kind of wondering that too."

"I have this theory," Sharmista said, "that whenever I drink coffee something unbelievable happens to me, and it's never, ever a dream or fantasy. I had cappuccino only a few minutes before I decided to climb down that hole like the idiot I am, and here we are."

"Well, would you like to get some coffee with me, then?"

"You have coffee down here too?" Sharmista gleefully rubbed her hands. "I'm slowly beginning to like you now, Holly."

"I can be a nice elf if I feel like it. Just make mine mocha, and we'll be okay."

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**_Yay for coffee, late nights, and updates! Please review - the fun is only just beginning!_**

**_Renata Swift  
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	4. Flash Floods

_**Hey, everyone - thanks for the positive reviews (even if there were only three). Here is the short chapter four, written against a background of great turmoil. Seriously, my exams are on.**_

_**Please R&R!  
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**House Of Cards

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_**Chapter Four – Flash Floods

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Two mugs of steaming coffee each later, Sharmista and Holly were settled in Foaly's office, along with Commander Vinyaya. The two had explained all that they could to a shocked Sharmista before escorting her into the Section Eight headquarters to be further filled in by Foaly. Foaly was in seventh heaven after being showered with praise for all his technical gizmos and know-how by a most wondrous Sharmista, who insisted that everyone call her Misty.

"That's a really funny nickname, if you don't mind me saying," Foaly had quipped when they had first shaken hands.

"Beats 'Sharmi', which is an even weirder sounding nickname."

"It sounds like that orange-haired girl on that cartoon you used to watch so much, Foaly," Holly had grinned.

"You guys watch _Pokemon_?"

"Only Foaly, but he's lost interest."

"Yeah," Foaly had laughed. "_Naruto _is the new_ Pokemon _now."

"I give up. What don't you guys have?" Sharmista now complained – only just before letting out a loud burp. Foaly fell off his chair cackling hysterically as Sharmista's face turned tomato red. Holly and Vinyaya grinned at each other. "Sorry," Sharmista muttered.

"We definitely don't the solution to this 'hole' business," Vinyaya quipped. "Pun intended."

"That's where you come in." Holly said.

"What I can I do? I'm just as clueless as you are." Sharmista sipped at her third cup of coffee. She'd never had three in a row. _If Ma knew, I'd be dead meat. But since she's not here, I guess I can have a fourth cup as well. Looks like this is going to take a while. God. I'm sitting with imaginary characters and all I can think about is my mom screwing me over coffee. What a pathetic loser I am._

"You are human, and that's one way in which you're going to help us." Sharmista quizzically raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, there's more to it than that. Foaly did explain about the Triad, right?"

"Something about goblins running the underworld, _no_ pun intended."

"The name 'Bobby' appealed to me in the interrogation room because their leader's name is Bobby Gatsuki."

"A Japanese guy?"

"No, he's not Japanese, but he isn't a goblin either. Gatsuki is a pixie, and a devious one at that." Holly rolled her eyes. _Sometimes I start to wonder whether all pixies are cold-blooded masterminds._

"So you're telling me a smart pixie runs a Goblin Triad. Nice."

"He not only runs it, he also owns a few shares in some of your human companies."

"How the hell is _that _possible?"

"If you ever take a look at his photo, you'll see that he's not unlike a dwarf – a human one, that is." Foaly brought up a picture of an extremely short person on the screen. If you had no inkling about the magical creatures that lived beneath the earth's crust, you would just think that the height was a birth defect.

"Oh, I see. That's pretty useful." Sharmista narrowed her eyes. "Which companies does he own stocks in, then?"

"Most of his stocks are in a company called WaldenGreen Solutions." Vinyaya began. "And that's where 'Gerald' rang a bell."

"Oh, my God. 'Gerald' as in _Gerald Walden?_ You have _got _to be kidding me. Seriously, lose my number." The already frazzled teen wrung her hands nervously. "That man is supposed to be the saviour of the flipping planet!"

"You mean the Resource Kiln, don't you?" Foaly grinned.

"We don't really have anything on them – it's all just a hunch." Vinyaya walked over to Sharmista, who was slowly going red in the face. "We just want to investigate a few things. We can take care of things down here. You, meanwhile, along with someone else we had in mind, can go topside and check out WaldenGreen."

"Look – if you haven't noticed, I'm only sixteen, and have virtually no knowledge about Gerald Walden or his Resource Kiln. Add to the fact that you guys aren't supposed to exist and that Holly here tried hypnotizing – sorry, _mesmerizing – _me back in that hellhole doesn't exactly make me want to jump on the bandwagon."

"You seemed pretty excited when I asked you to join in, you know. And we've never lied to you so far."

"_So far _indicates that you may in all probability lie to me at some other point in time."

"Not lying. We would probably keep a few…unnecessary facts from you, though. We don't exactly trust humans, like Holly said," Vinyaya said. "We've had a few bitter experiences."

"Great. Well, seeing as there's no real bright side to the whole situation, I might as well agree." Sharmista sighed. "I am such a total sucker."

"Bury yourself in criticism later. What _do_ you know about Walden?" Foaly asked, his eyes boring holes into Sharmista.

"About Walden? Nada. I know that he came up with the Resource Kiln idea with a mystery woman about whom he's sworn never to talk, that it goes up for talks in the UN later this month, that so far everyone's been applauding the project."

"Gerard Walden is a self made man, and he's always shied out of the spotlight. All of a sudden, he rises to prominence with this master plan, and the newshounds _love_ it. He's proposing to fill this Kiln with adequate amounts of various kinds of minerals and elements, even radioactive ones, to be used only in the direst of situations. The building itself is to be constructed underground in Greenland. And," Foaly grinned with pride, "I have figured out the identity of the mystery woman."

"Great. Who is it?" Sharmista leaned forward in her chair.

Holly glared at Foaly. "Why wasn't I informed about this?"

"For reasons that will become apparent in a few seconds. This question's for you, Commander, and you too, Holly. Who was it that you met a couple of years ago, who had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was French? Come on, this is the stupidest question I've ever had to pose."

"_Minerva?"_ Holly shrieked.

"Minerva Paradizo? The girl who designed the Peace Promenade?" Sharmista looked puzzled. "She's barely my age!"

"Yet she's gone on to do some pretty fantastic things in her life." Vinyaya chewed her lower lip. "Holly, I'm afraid you know what this means. We're going to have to call the Fowl kid in."

"Okay, stop," Sharmista got up, hitting her head on the ceiling. "You're talking like spies out of a bad '80s TV show. Who's 'Fowl'? Is that a code name or something? Is he one of you guys?"

"He's not one of us, and yet he's one of us all the same." Holly muttered.

"I give up. Go ahead and talk in riddles all you want. I'll be sitting right here if you wish to explain things to me."

"No – actually, you're coming with me. Ever been to Ireland?" Holly grinned. She was going to enjoy taking this girl on the ride of her life.

"No, I haven't. Are you going to be hunting chickens there?"

"Ah, don't be in such a fowl mood, my dear," Foaly hooted. "Good luck, Holly!"

"Thanks, old friend." Holly looked at the glaring Indian girl. "We're going to need it."

* * *

_**That's pretty much all that can fit in this chapter. I wanted to add more, but it would've then gone on for eternity. Well, at least a few things are clearer now. **_

_**Please R&R!**_

_**Renata Swift  
**_


	5. Spiralling

_A/N: Original characters in this story (those not seen in the Artemis Fowl universe) belong to me, Renata Swift. Artemis Fowl, the universe, and all its characters belong to Eoin Colfer. Not to me. Sadly._

_**Sorry for the delay in updates - as I previously said, I was in the middle of my exams. This chapter, to me, is no great shakes, but the action has yet to begin, so hold on! R&R, please!

* * *

**_

**House Of Cards

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**

_**Chapter Five – Spiralling

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**_

Gerald Walden was having a very good year. So good, in fact, that he had allowed himself the luxury of buying a brand new, red coloured, gas-guzzling Hummer. Not very smart for someone who runs an eco-friendly business empire, but that was the way the cookie crumbled. So far, the press had not yet heard of the Hummer, and to celebrate _that_ fact, he was now pouring himself a glass of Veuve Doussot, flown in from Paris. Further gas-guzzling.

As he stared out of the floor-length windows, Walden smiled to himself. The plan was working brilliantly, and no one, not even that pesky little French girl, had realized. _All is going according to plan, _he said to himself in his head. _I sound like a villain out of a totally bad movie. I really should get some new lines._

He set the glass down on his smooth, polished mahogany table as his phone buzzed. It was his secretary announcing a guest for him. Not long after, an extremely short, angry looking man marched in. This was no man, however, and Gerald Walden knew it.

"Bobby, man, what's going on?" Walden held his hand out for Gatsuki to shake, but Gatsuki slapped it away.

"Have you turned on CNN in the past two days, you freaking moron? Have you been paying any freaking attention to what I keep warning you about?"

"No. In case you haven't realized, I run a pretty big company from nine to five."

"There was a freaking girl. She fell down the freaking hole, Gerry. In freaking Sharjah."

"So what? They'll fish her out. Don't work yourself up, Bobby. Relax. Here," Walden took another glass and poured some more of the champagne into it. "Have some Veuve Doussot."

"You don't freaking understand, Gerry! When the rescue team came in to save her, she wasn't freaking there! She pulled a freaking Houdini on everyone!" Gatsuki paced along the breadth of the room.

"What? _What?_" Walden's eyes flew out of his head. "What the hell do you mean, she _disappeared?_"

"That's it, Gerry! She wasn't there! And you know why?"

"Why?" Walden peered curiously at the angry pixie.

"Because _my freaking goblins pulled her out!_" Gatsuki screamed in Walden's face, spit flying out. Walden wiped it away.

"You mean to say your stupid minions have her?" Walden growled.

"No! That's just it! They freaking beat her up, and then left her somewhere! They went and got themselves freaking drunk, and now they don't know where the freaking hell she is!" Gatsuki's face was slowly turning purple. "I told you the goblins would do something freaking stupid like this, man! They don't have the freaking brainpower to think! I told you this was a freaking bad idea!"

Walden got down on his knees to properly face Gatsuki, whose face was now the exact same shade as his Hummer. "Are you having cold feet, Bob?"

"Cold feet? Hell, my feet have freaking frostbite, man!"

"Well, it's too late now. Find the girl if you can, then bring her to me. I'll deal with her the right way." Walden went back to his desk and sat in his plush reclining chair. "Meanwhile, the plan goes on. I do not want any more delays and any more of your hysterics."

Gatsuki glumly nodded his head and turned towards the door. Just before he left, Walden called after him.

"Hey, Bobby!"

"What the freaking hell now, man?"

"You've got to stop using the word 'freaking' when you get mad. It's really irritating."

Gatsuki fumed and slammed the door behind him. Walden laughed.

* * *

Sharmista paused briefly to throw up in a pot full of gardenias, and Holly silently chuckled. The poor girl's face was turning various shades of green because of the shuttle ride to Dublin. Sharmista growled menacingly, but Holly _shush_ed her. The duo was in the Fowl garden, with Sharmista awkwardly hiding behind bushes, obeying Holly's every word.

"I can't do this. I'm too clumsy! Surely Security will notice me!"

"The only security here already knows us. The ones we have to watch out for are Fowl Senior and the twins."

"So why on earth are we doing this black ops thing? You already know his parents are out of town!"

"The element of surprise still holds the potential for a lot of fun, Misty."

"Ah. Like pranks. How immature."

"You know," Holly glared, "you're beginning to sound a lot like him."

"Who's 'him'?" Sharmista chuckled, swatting away a fly.

"She means me," a cool voice said behind them. Sharmista jumped and turned around. Holly sighed annoyingly.

"You know, Artemis, you could've pretended like you didn't notice us," the elf intoned. Sharmista just kept staring at Artemis' face.

"You have one of Holly's eyes!" she blurted without thinking.

"Yes, I do. Although it can also be said that she has one of mine." Artemis turned around and began walking towards a table in the centre of the garden. "Follow me."

"Why should we?" Sharmista put her hands on her hips.

"Well, you did come all the way here, didn't you? I've also got some iced tea in the fridge."

"Well, if you put it like that…" Sharmista grinned at Holly and ran towards Artemis, soon coming up to him. Holly followed behind them. As they were walking towards the house, Sharmista gazed around in wonder.

"You have a really beautiful house," she said sincerely, never having seen anything quite like it. Artemis seemed taken aback, never having heard such a comment. "Thank you," he said awkwardly as he held open a glass door for girl and elf. They entered straight into the kitchen, where Artemis pulled out two cans of Lipton's Iced Tea for Sharmista and Holly. He himself picked up a steaming mug of Earl Grey lying on the counter, and sipped it with a curios expression on his face. Sharmista gulped down the brown liquid thirstily, beads of sweat framing her face. Holly, on the other hand, seemed quite cool.

"So," Artemis said, after a stretch of silence, "how's Foaly's dig on WaldenGreen going?"

"You were supposed to stay out of our servers, Artemis!" Holly yelled. The boy chuckled.

"I was just checking. Minerva's name came up a lot."

"Oh, Holly," Sharmista sighed in a fake manner, "he was only protecting the interests of his girlfriend!"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Touchy-feely, are we, Monsieur Fowl?" Sharmista grinned.

"Not really, Miss Varma. I just dislike false allegations."

"How did you know my name, you creep?"

"Foaly's files. He's got a timeline in them. Entered you in the day you fell through that hole. Not quite a wise decision, was it?"

"No, not really – but then I never exactly expected to be abducted by goblins, now, did I?"

"Where's Paradizo, Artemis?" Holly interrupted before the fight got out of hand.

"She's gone. She took the first flight to London when Walden called. He apparently needed her to make some alterations in the plans."

"So you pretty much know everything, including why we are here."

"That part Foaly sent me by mail."

"Good, because we have no time to waste." Holly's communicator bleeped for what seemed like the three hundredth time that day. Her eyes quickly scanned the message on the screen, and then she pulled the mug of tea out of Artemis' hands.

"Pack your bags. Both of you are flying to London. We'll be receiving further orders there. Can Butler fly us in?"

"Why not? I'll call him and tell him about our new plans." With that, Artemis Fowl turned around to walk out of the kitchen when Holly stopped him.

"Be sure to pack a tuxedo!" she grinned. Artemis' face fell flat – as did Sharmista's. She spat the Iced Tea out, and Artemis winced at the incivility of it all.

"What? I'm not dressing up as a man, you know!"

"Don't be stupid," Holly said, irritated. "Artemis, lend her one of your mother's better gowns. You're going to be at a party hosted by Gerald Walden around this time tomorrow."

"My father knows the man, if it's of any help," Artemis quipped. "We own stocks in WaldenGreen. I'm using some of their resources to make the Cessna more environmentally friendly."

"We knew that already, Artemis." Holly grinned. "Go, go!"

"I didn't," Sharmista pouted. "Aren't things moving a little too fast? We just got here!"

"Time waits for no one, Misty. Follow Master Fowl, and for Frond's sake, do pick out a nice dress, nothing too trashy."

"Thanks for the vote of fashion confidence. What about you?"

"I'm not coming to the party – it'll be your job to get things going. Walden will never suspect you two to be up to no good."

"You know, underestimating this guy might lead to the collapse of this entire plan."

"Trust me, thing will go exactly as we've planned. We have eyes and ears everywhere."

"So might he." Sharmista frowned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Holly to ponder about the whole shebang.

* * *

**Please do review, and tell me what you like or didn't, so I can mould the story that way!  
**

**Renata Swift  
**


	6. Rolling Die

_**Hello, everybody - I'm back! Sorry the update took so long - my exams were on, followed by a disastrous result. I think some of the pessimism shows in this chapter. I'm not very pleased with it, but I felt I needed to update soon. **_**_The next ones will be better, I promise.

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**House Of Cards

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**

_**Chapter Six – Rolling Die

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**_

"You…have...a…Cessna?" Sharmista panted, lugging a heavy bag behind her. Butler smirked, two bags in his own hands. Apparently Master Fowl had decided to uproot the entire house and stuff it into two suitcases.

"Why not?" Artemis replied coolly. "It's not like we can't afford it."

"Oh my _gosh,_" trilled Sharmista in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Like I didn't realize that when I saw the castle. All it lacked was a bloody moat."

"I'm planning to have one installed, thanks very much for taking an interest."

Holly rolled her eyes at the constant bickering, and Sharmista noticed. "What?" she complained. "It's not like I'm not making an effort to be civil or anything!"

"Artemis, back off. Misty, shut up. Butler, get us out of here ASAP. Preferably before I kill the two monsters."

Butler chuckled for what seemed to Sharmista to be the billionth time that day. Either she was an airhead to him, or the man was seriously numb in the head. He had been a mercenary once, Holly had told her – maybe somebody took a few well-aimed shots at him. She decided instantly that she didn't care.

After loading the bags into the plane, then settling in, Holly sent a message to Foaly that they were finally on their way.

"Watch out, Holly. If Sool gets wind of this mission, Cahartez will be scraping our flattened remains off the backside of a troll. I mean it. Do not screw up."

"How…visually entertaining," Sharmista peered into the tiny communicator and made a face. Holly growled and pushed the girl out of her face.

"With this female, I'm beginning to think that screwing up is inevitable. We should have left her behind."

"I agree. She's awfully irritating, and knows nothing about us." Artemis added his two cents' worth of thoughts from the front of the cabin, where he was pouring himself a flute of red wine.

Sharmista narrowed her eyes at both of them. "Hey there, fairy princess, you're the one who begged for my help. I would've been happy to just walk home. But no, you lock me up, beat me up, then play good cp, bad cop. Well, screw you." She turned to the pale youth who was swirling wine in his flute. "And you, you horrible Irish boy, you are the most incorrigible little imp I have ever met. I wonder if anyone has considered murdering you, because they would be doing the world a great service."

"They contemplated it, I think." Artemis said simply, sipping the ruby-red liquid. "If anything had happened, however, Butler would have first killed them, then made it look like a complete accident."

"How comforting. And I suppose the Great One is going to fly the plane, since you've already started drinking." Shamista sneered. Her face contorted into a sickening grimace.

"You're right. Butler will be flying us to London." Artemis glanced at Holly. "I might as well tell you the rest of the plan."

"Please do, before I _screw_ things up entirely." The plane began to make its ascent.

"Very well, and listen carefully. I do not like repeating myself."

"Oh yeah, because I'm a kid from the first grade." Sharmista stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. "Quit the charade and start talking, vampire boy."

Artemis sighed. How much more of this stupidity was he supposed to take? He _was_ trying to be honest, after all. "I've booked us into the Astoria. The party is going to be held tomorrow night, in honour of the Resource Kiln, in the hotel's ballroom itself. A word of caution, however - Minerva should be there, so we'll have to stay away from her. I wouldn't think it wise to cross swords with her." Artemis shuddered as he thought of the horribly long and boring afternoons on the patio with the French girl.

"Oh, yeah – your French _girl_friend. She's got a nice perm." Sharmista made quote marks with her fingers in the air when she said the word 'girlfriend'. Holly slapped her palm against her forehead. Artemis wisely decided not to engage in immature repartee with the disturbed girl.

"I'll talk to Walden personally, since he knows me through my father. In the meantime, Holly will try to get into his office to get the plans and papers behind the entire plan." Artemis straightened his suit, which had crumpled during the entire 'process' of getting on to the plane. How irritating. He had been assured that these suits were wrinkle resistant. He would have to fire Massimo once he got back. "There's a lot more than it seems, Miss Varma, so please stick to whatever I'm telling you. It's very complicated – office politics are delicate."

"Ooh, how refreshing. Thank you, your Imperial Highness, for telling me that I'm a complete idiot. Anyway, since you haven't included me in the plan, what am I needed for?" Sharmista crossed her arms across her chest, and stared out of the window. The city of Dublin sprawled far below the plane, the river Liffey glittering in the sunlight, snaking like a ribbon through the diverse city. She was annoyed. She had never wanted any part of this mess, and yet there she was, about to embark on what she thought was going to be the biggest mess of her life.

'Hold on," Holly interrupted her train of thought. "You are very much a vital part of this plan. You need to corner Gatsuki and get him to talk."

"_What? _I'm only sixteen! I can't play Mata Hari!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but that's exactly what you're going to have to do. You're not bad looking – a little make-up in the right places can get him to open his mouth."

Sharmista started sniggering, and Artemis continued to lazily sip the wine. Holly felt like a kindergarten teacher. "Look, are you taking this seriously?"

"You just asked me to seduce a pixie. Why should I _not _be laughing?" Sharmista clutched her stomach, doubling over with laughter. "The very notion is ridiculous."

"It's not like I can do it!" Holly replied hotly.

"Why not? You're pretty!"

"He'd recognize me immediately! I'm Section Eight, remember! My height doesn't help, either!"

"Section Eight doesn't officially exist, remember?" Sharmista taunted the steaming elf.

"Let's just say Holly is something of a minor celebrity underground," Artemis said smoothly. He got out of his seat, and walked towards the cockpit. "I'm going to go talk to Butler for a while. I will be back with our ETA. Excuse me."

Sharmista and Holly both ignored him. They were far too busy staring each other down. Finally, Holly blinked back tears and wiped her eyes. "Fine. Stay stubborn. It's never going to help you."

"This coming from you, Holly?" Sharmista groaned. "Spare me."

"Sometimes, Misty, it's better to be flexible in the wind, rather than to stand upright. Think about it." Holly settled down in her plush seat and started to fiddle with her communicator. Sharmista seemed puzzled at the cryptic comments that had been made so far. Perhaps she was denser than she thought.

Or maybe not. She'd find out soon enough.

Soon enough came sooner than anyone would've thought.

* * *

_**Reviews will be greatly appreciated!**_

**_Renata Swift_  
**


	7. Deception

_A/N: Original characters in this story (those not seen in the Artemis Fowl universe) belong to me, Renata Swift. Artemis Fowl, the universe, and all its characters belong to Eoin Colfer. Not to me. Sadly._

_**Hey! Well, the academic year is over, and here is a new chapter! (Finally, right? I know...) So I'm finally back to this story. As usual, reviews are love :)**  
_

* * *

**House Of Cards

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**

_**Chapter Seven – Deception

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**_

The rest of the plane flight was uneventful, and Sharmista relegated herself to the solemn duty of looking out of all the plane's windows in utter boredom. Holly was still messaging the rest of Section Eight underground, and the Fowl vampire seemed to be playing an online game of poker on his laptop. Sharmista wandered over to him curiously, wondering how he could be so calm before a 'mission' of sorts.

She stood next to him as he concentrated on his game, but Sharmista was not fooled. He was very much aware of her presence, she knew, and would probably blow up at her for peering at his screen from behind his shoulder.

"You've done this before, haven't you? The whole 'I'm-saving-the-world' thing, I mean," she mused out loud. Artemis did not turn towards her, instead choosing to play another round. "I'm sorry to say I have, but it hasn't been to save the world or anything so melodramatic," he murmured. The laptop screen began to flash wildly.

"What do you do with the money you've won?" Sharmista asked, gesturing towards the poker game. "I mean, you must win every time you play. That's not a compliment or anything," she quickly added. "I don't think gambling for any reason is a very good idea."

"Well, most of the money goes to charity, and of course, I keep some for myself." Artemis turned towards her. He frowned slightly, and Holly, who just happened to look up from her Communicator, noticed it. "What is it, Artemis?"

"I was just thinking," he said, going back to his laptop, "that everyone at the party might instantly recognize Sharmista. She was, after all, on CNN yesterday for quite some time."

"CNN?" Sharmista yelped. "My spotty face was on CNN? What the f…" Holly hit Sharmista before she could swear.

Artemis chuckles. "It was quite amusing, actually – they even got some friend of yours to praise you; sort of like a eulogy."

"_Eulogy_? You mean I'm presumed dead?"

"Well, you fell down a hole, and your body wasn't at the bottom. So yes, you're missing, presumed dead." Artemis pushed the laptop into Sharmista's hands, where the CNN website proclaimed:_ Indian 'Hole' Girl Still Missing; UAE Authorities Push For Further Investigations. _An old picture of Sharmista accompanied the following article, which had a video link to a plea by her parents. Sharmista suddenly grew cold and clammy. In the past twenty-four hours, she had not once thought about her parents or about Laila, who must have landed in some pretty hot water. She swallowed guiltily. Holly put one arm around Sharmista as she sank into a seat.

"You mustn't let anyone know, Misty," Holly said firmly. "You can't contact your family or your friends till everything is over. You absolutely cannot say a word to anyone outside this circle."

"Fine," Sharmista sniffled a little bit. She then sat straight up in her seat. "So what are we going to do now? I can't possibly go into that party expecting everyone to not recognize me!"

"Well, I certainly can't go," Holly objected. "Unless I can grow as tall as five feet in the next few hours, I am not entering that party."

"We can try finding a wig," Sharmista said. "If I can get a wig and do my make-up in such a way that I look older than I am now, it might work. Heels are also an excellent option."

"That sounds like a plan," Artemis remarked drily. Sharmista glared at him. "Do you have a better plan?"

Artemis smiled smugly. "Prosthetics."

"Yeah, sure, let's get a bunch of rubber noses and moustaches." Sharmista made a funny face as she screwed up her nose and twisted her mouth grotesquely.

"Where are you going to find authentic looking prosthetics in London?" Holly asked, her mind buzzing with ideas.

"You forget, Holly – he's got people everywhere," Sharmista wagged a finger in Holly's general direction. "Prosthetics sound good to me."

"I suppose the wig wouldn't be a bad idea; we could transform Sharmista into a totally different person," Artemis added. "Tracing her if we got caught would be incredibly difficult."

"By the way, who am I supposed to pretend to be at the party? I can't go introducing myself as 'Ditz Who Fell Down A Hole', you know," Sharmista handed Artemis' laptop back to him. He grinned at Sharmista, who finally began to feel welcome.

"Well, we'll think of something, depending on what you look like after we alter your appearance."

"And hey," Sharmista added, "give me a really, really good dress while you're at it. I'll never be able to wear those again."

* * *

"You look totally different," Holly quipped as Sharmista and Artemis entered her hotel room.

Sharmista had driven to a make-up artist in Finchley to get her prosthetics put on. The process hadn't taken too long, and she now appeared to be a totally different person. Her nose was slightly sharper, with a pointed chin, and her oval face was now square. Artemis had asked Butler to drive ahead to the Astoria to make sure everything was going according to plan so far. Now, both of them had changed into fancier clothes, with Artemis in an ironed tuxedo, and Sharmista in a turquoise floor-length gown.

"The dress is beautiful," Sharmista said, twirling around as she looked at herself in a mirror. She was also wearing a paste sapphire jewelry set to go with the dress.

"My mother once wore it to one of her famous charity balls," Artemis said, straightening his bowtie. "She's never worn it again."

"Well, I don't think she'd be too happy to know I'm wearing it now."

"I don't care," Holly said. "Now, Misty, pay close attention. Mud Boy, you'd better listen in too." She pulled out a glittering brooch which had a circular blue stone in the centre with crystals lining it. She pinned it to Sharmista's dress. "This is a multi-frame camera. Each cut of the stone gives me and Foaly a different angle of the ballroom to look at. Your clips," she pointed to Sharmista's hair clips, "are microphones."

Artemis nodded. "Impressive."

"Artemis, you'll have both microphones and an earpiece. I will be talking directly to you. Foaly will also come in at times if he needs to. Have both of you understood?"

"I talk to Walden, and Sharmista gets Gatsuki to tell her most everything."

"Everything would be preferred," Holly grinned at Sharmista. "Don't get too nervous."

"I'll try my best."

"Now get out of here!" Holly pushed them out of the room, leaving a well-hidden Butler to chuckle loudly.

* * *

_**Review! Review! So I can become a better author, you know.**_

**_Renata_  
**


	8. The Five Star Circus

_A/N: Original characters in this story (those not seen in the Artemis Fowl universe) belong to me, Renata Swift. Artemis Fowl, the universe, and all its characters belong to Eoin Colfer. Not to me. Sadly._

_**I ****am truly sorry to not have updated for so long. I will be honest and say that I had actually given this story up, as I had no motivation to write any further. However, after some experimentation, I decided to start once more. I'm sure you do not want to read a list of excuses from me, so without further ado, here is the latest chapter.**_

_**A very special thanks, however, to Wyandotte Bloduoedd, who has always, always had nothing but words of kindness and encouragement to say to my rude and obnoxious self. There is no better friend to have than one who reads my awkward and insane writing at odd times during the day and has real insight into the lives that I try to give my characters. I will never be able to express my immense gratitude to her, simply because there are no words to describe it. I'm sorry, Mrs C, but for now, **_**thank you very much**_** will have to suffice.  
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**House of Cards

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_**Chapter Eight - The Five Star Circus

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Sharmista's hands were sweating profusely as Artemis had a few last words with Foaly over Holly's communicator. She was fully aware of the complications of the night's plan, but the reality of the situation had only just begun to sink in. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she moved away from the room and down the plush corridor towards the hotel elevators. Her head was spinning with questions she felt she should have asked earlier, and with miscellaneous scenarios unfolding in her head, each one ending in various degrees of disaster. The brooch on her chest seemed to burn through the exquisite dress and leave a scar on her skin underneath. Tears began to fill up her eyes, and she looked down at the red and gold carpet under her feet. Most of all, she was wondering about her parents. She felt a snake coil itself around her stomach.

At that very moment, she heard footsteps behind her, and a stiff voice asked her, "Are you ready?"

She looked up to see Artemis standing before her, and she noticed that _both_ his eyes were now blue. "Contacts?" she asked, gesturing towards them. He nodded silently, and Sharmista looked away, not wanting to show him that she'd been crying. The two stood in front of the elevators for some time before Artemis spoke again.

"Who should I introduce you as? You made quite the point earlier."

Sharmista failed to stifle a giggle. "'Ditz Who Fell Down A Hole'. Yeah, I see the point. Um, I have no idea. Do you have any female acquaintances I could, you know," she said awkwardly, "...impersonate?"

"No, I don't."

"So I have no real cover? Wow, this night just keeps getting more and more awesome by the passing minute."

"She's a girl you met at a chess tournament," said a voice in Artemis' ear.

"Not a bad idea, Holly, seeing as we have nothing else to go on," Artemis muttered.

"It was Foaly who suggested it. He noticed that you'd been to New Delhi for one recently."

"Who are you talking to?" Sharmista asked him, puzzled. Artemis pointed to his ear, and her eyes widened in enlightenment. "Oh," she said in a small voice.

"Listen carefully to what I say," Artemis began.

"This can't be good. The movies say so."

The Irish genius ignored her. "You are Anita Kumar, and I met you at a chess tournament in New Delhi. We have been in contact for two months, and we decided to meet up here."

"So I'm your date for the night," Sharmista's eyes sparkled mischievously. "I am going to have so much fun footing drinks to your tab." Seeing Artemis open his mouth to reprimand her, she spoke before he could. "Whoa, just relieving the tension, Artemis. We have no real plan. We don't know the scale of this problem. We're walking blindfolded." She took a deep breath. "We're both nervous and you know it."

Artemis was appalled. _Me, nervous? Hardly._

Just then, the elevator arrived, and Sharmista offered her arm to Artemis. "I know it's supposed to be the other way around, but since you aren't going to act gallant, I thought I might as well do it. We might as well infiltrate the drinking games looking the part."

"I would have done it," Artemis protested. "You greatly underestimate me!" _Females._

"Right. Uh-huh. Whatever you say." Sharmista grinned as Artemis reluctantly held out his arm for her to loop hers around. "Thanks." With that, they stepped into the elevator, and it closed its doors with a short musical note.

Down in his lab and in her hotel room, both Foaly and Holly roared in laughter.

* * *

The ballroom blinded both Artemis and Sharmista's eyes the minute they stepped through its doors. There were large crystal sculptures scattered all around the edges of the room, and whatever little space there was in between the large circular tables was occupied by throngs of haughty looking and fashionably dressed people. Sharmista thought that she'd recognized a few movie stars and celebrities, but her hand was still linked with Artemis', and where he went, she had to follow. A few of the younger women turned to look at Artemis, but scowled when they noticed Sharmista. The girl grinned. She rarely ever received such attention, and now that she was getting some, she made a mental note to milk it for all it was worth.

"Hey," Sharmista nudged Artemis, who had put on a passable smile and was glancing around the room. "You know any of these schmucks?"

"I'm sure you do too," he replied, turning to her. "Most of these people grave the covers of your silly tabloids."

"_My_ silly tabloids? What makes you think I even _read_ them? Why do you categorize all girls in one category of hormonally imbalanced sluts?" Sharmista was about to give Artemis a more sizeable proverbial piece of her mind, when a middle-aged lady in a burgundy dress approached Artemis. She held her head up high as though a foul smell was drifting through the room, and did not bother to look at Artemis as she began to speak.

"Dear Master Fowl! I am _delighted_ to see that you decided to attend today's function. It's so sad that your parents couldn't make it, but here you are, upholding the family name."

"It's a pleasure to see you, Countess," Artemis replied smoothly. He took her hand and put it to his lips. Sharmista was astonished to see the immediate transformation in him. _He's a better actor than I thought. Oh, shoot, she's looking at me. Smile, dammit!_

The Countess was indeed looking at Sharmista, but there was a steely glint in her eyes. "Introduce me, Artemis, to you lady friend, if you please."

"Indeed. Countess, this is Anita Kumar, a chess champion from New Delhi. Anita, this is the Countess Armand. She is a good friend of my family."

Sharmista nodded her head. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." The Countess didn't look too pleased, though, and continued talking to Artemis. "It's a shame my Stella could not make it tonight. She does adore your company, Master Fowl, and she also likes a good night on the town - that's what your generation calls it, _ce n'est pas?_" Sharmista smiled and dug her elbow deep into Artemis' side. He flinched visibly, but the Countess was too busy staring at the bar behind them. "Do send my regards to Angeline, Artemis. I quite miss her company."

Artemis nodded his head, and the Countess floated off towards the bar. Sharmista turned around sharply and looked at Artemis. "Stella?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Looks like Minnie's got competition, eh?"

Artemis frowned as he held out a chair for her at one of the tables. "You're not making any sense, Anita."

Sharmista laughed unkindly. "Don't 'Anita' me. It looks like I've walked into this party with the most eligible bachelor in Europe! Half the girls here could kill me with their glares. It's mildly unnerving," Sharmista paused, "but definitely tonnes of fun. D'you mind if I flaunt you about a bit?"

"What do you think?" Artemis settled into his own chair next to Sharmista, and glared at her.

"I think that whatever your objections, I'm going to do it. I'm supposed to seduce Gatsuki according to Holly; I might as well build up a reputation as a serial flirter with some of the others. He might get the news from some of his drinking buddies and think that I'm easy. It'll be a piece of cake from then onwards."

Artemis rolled his eyes and scanned the crowd. "Don't bank on things turning out exactly according to plan," he warned. "Everything changes rapidly. Don't give away too much. If anyone has a dossier on the missing girl from Sharjah, it's Gatsuki."

Just then, Holly's voice echoed in his left ear. "I think that her's is a safe plan. You've got nothing to lose anyway, so go for it. Walden is backstage rehearsing his speech with Gatsuki, and Paradizo is there as well. Avoid her at all costs. Make this _especially_ clear to Misty. She might get it into her head to have some fun and mess around with Minerva. Tell her to concentrate on Gatsuki. You go for Walden; he knows you and won't be much of a problem to talk to."

"Will do." Artemis turned towards Sharmista. "Avoid Minerva. She's here, backstage, with Walden and Gatsuki. Don't try to outsmart her or taunt her. Concentrate on the pixie. This is your plan of action."

"Jeez, alright," Sharmista scowled. "I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the evening. So you're going for Walden simultaneously, is it?"

"That's Holly's plan," Artemis affirmed. Sharmista turned away from him and began to scan the crowd. "Hey," she began. "There's a bunch of guys over there. Do you know any of them?"

Artemis craned his neck in the direction of Sharmista's outstretched finger. "Yes," he admitted after a minute. "That's Edmund Logan and his acquaintances. His father owns the only environmentally friendly paper mill in the United Kingdom." Looking at Sharmista, who waggled her eyebrows comically and grinned broadly at him, Artemis groaned. "Those are your first victims, I assume?"

"Succubus _away!_" Sharmista laughed and pumped a fist in the air. "Hey, could you do that thing where you become icy cold towards everyone and don't give a crap about them? So that I can turn on the...heat, you know." she blushed slightly.

Artemis was offended for the second time in an hour. "I am not cold," he insisted. "I just don't care about their problems."

Sharmista grabbed him by the arm and began to drag him towards the crowd in mind. "Lesson one in people skills, Master Fowl - pretend to listen, even if you really aren't doing so. Not caring about one's reputation is a load of bull, because everyone cares inside, no matter what they say. Also, a good image is good for business. Look at Walden - he's suave, intelligent and charming on the outside, even if he happens to be an asshole and a jerk on the inside."

Artemis could not help but think that maybe, just maybe, Sharmista had a valid point.

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Edmund Logan must not have been very engrossed in what his comrades were saying, because the minute he noticed the Fowl boy with a gorgeous doll hanging on his arm, he grinned inwardly. _She's a moneysucker, I can tell, _he thought to himself. _But I can change that in a matter of seconds. _

He saw that she was looking at him as the Fowl boy was blabbering about something, so he shot her his most winning smile - the one he knew sent girls crashing to his knees. Strangely enough, this one did not start shivering, but instead she pursed her lips and shot him a rather flirtatious smile, then gave him a long once-over. Fowl grabbed her arm when he noticed she wasn't paying attention to him, but she broke away immediately, gesturing towards Edmund. Fowl frowned deeply, but she put her arm around his waist and shot him a winning smile as well, making big eyes at him. He reluctantly steered her towards Edmund's posse, the frown still prominent on his face.

Edmund cleared his throat rather loudly, and all his friends turned towards him. "Look who graces our presence tonight, boys! It's the one and only Artemis Fowl the Second! Why don't we make him feel welcome with a large round of applause?" All five of his friends laughed and clapped mockingly as Artemis and his girlfriend approached them. Artemis stood stiffly, but the angel swerved her hips and floated towards Edmund. Edmund noticed now that she was South Asian - Indian, probably, but she could be Pakistani, Sri Lankan or Bangladeshi as well.

"Was that for us?" she simpered. Of course, to Edmund, it sounded like honey to his ears rather than the sticky trap that it actually was. "You are so sweet! You really know how to lay the red carpet for a girl." She nodded towards Artemis. "Arty here was just telling me all about you, Edmund." She smiled at him sexily, then turned towards a grumpy looking Artemis. "Darling, aren't you going to formally introduce us?"

Artemis cleared his throat. "Edmund, this is Anita Kumar. She is from New Delhi. Anita, this is Edmund Logan, _as I told you._" Artemis put a lot of emphasis on the last few words, but no one was paying any attention to him anymore. Both 'Anita' and Edmund were staring at each other as though they had been hypnotized. An awkward silence filled the air between them before Edmund smiled devilishly. "Would the lady like a drink? My treat, of course."

'Anita' smiled back sweetly. "Some iced tea would do fine, please. I can't stand alcohol at all." She laughed lightly, fluttering her eyelids. Artemis felt like throwing up, but since Logan was buying Sharmista's pathetic act, he stood in his place, not moving, but dying to make a scathing remark nonetheless. Edmund sent one of his cronies to get the drinks, and by the time he returned, Edmund had his arm around Sharmista's waist, and they were on the dance floor.

"Thanks awfully for the dance, Anita," Edmund said as they wound up.

"Oh, I'm no dancer," Sharmista replied, twirling around. "I can't stand this slow dancing crap. It's so old and formal, not to mention stuffy."

Edmund's friends _ooh_ed as they approached the group once more. "You've got a mouth on you!" Edmund crowed gleefully. Sharmista grinned devilishly and laughed. She picked up her glass of iced tea and finished it in a single gulp.

"Thirsty, are we?" Edmund winked at her.

"Frightfully so. Arty, dear, I think I see someone I know over _there_," said Sharmista, who was getting tired of her game. She pointed at the far right corner of the room, where Gatsuki was stepping off the stage, looking tired and grumpy. Artemis nodded, and the duo linked arms once again. Sharmista fluttered her eyelids at Edmund again. "Bye, Eddie. Thanks for the drink."

"A bit forward, wasn't she, Ed?" One of Edmund's friends spoke up as soon as Artemis and Sharmista were out of earshot.

"Who cares? She was hot," Edmund smiled to himself. "Come on, let's go tell the others at the bar. We're never going to find another like her."

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The next half an hour was the longest ever of Artemis' life. Being dragged around to flirt endlessly with the total male population of the party by a girl he hardly knew was _not_ his idea of a civilized evening. Gatsuki had appeared from behind the stage only to disappear once more behind it, so Sharmista had moved on to another party of boys. If they ever came across married couples that Artemis knew, she would suck up to them in an effort to portray herself as an overly polite and very smart young girl. Most of these couples were delighted with Sharmista, and even invited her over to their homes for the winter break. Underneath that layer of hers that oozed confidence and exuberance, however, she wished she could scream loudly and break everything that lay in her path. She was still unsure of her real importance in the farcical, so-called 'plot' that Grouchy Boy Genius and Temperamental Elf Girl were coming up with as they went along.

As she let Artemis lead her towards their table (she was far too up in the clouds to walk on her own), the overhead lights began to dim, and a strobe light focused on a podium that had been arranged on the stage. All the noise in the room immediately subsided, and all heads turned towards the stage. She was cradling her head in her hands. "Wha...What's happening?" she asked drowsily. Artemis nodded towards Gerald Walden, who was striding confidently towards the podium, having appeared from behind the stage. Artemis noticed Gatsuki wringing his hands just below the stage. Both of them settled into their seats. Luckily for them, they were the only ones at their table.

"Hey, isn't that the Paradizo female you like?" Sharmista pointed at a blonde girl sitting at one of the tables right in front of the stage. Holly's voice filled his head. "Artemis, Minerva knows that you're here with someone else. She wants to meet you after Walden's speech. Stick to the plan, and avoid her." Artemis did not reply as Walden had begun his speech.

"My aunt often said that the mysteries of the future cannot be predicted without a crystal ball. I suppose this is because she was a fortune teller, and she wanted to make a quick buck, but I disagreed with her very time she would utter her stock phrase. Now, more than ever, I can predict our collective future just by looking out of my window.

"In the next few years, mankind is going to suffer mercilessly thanks to our own actions, and we are going to drag down a couple of thousand species of flora and fauna along with us for no fault of theirs. We have already witnessed the outbreak of many new strains of old diseases, along with some unwelcome new ones. We are no closer to solving our own human disputes, let alone the ones we have with our environment. We try to exploit every single plant or animal that we come across without ever thinking, 'This is wrong and unfair to both of us. This will create problems for everyone.' We are under the mentality that humans are more superior than any other species to have had the great misfortune of evolving on this planet, which has given us so much to work with. With this supremacist attitude, we began, and to this day, continue to exploit, destroy and ignore the fact that the strings that tie us to life on this planet are inextricably tangled with - and in most cases, connected to - other lifelines as well.

"It is very well to say that humans feel compassion, love and know solidarity. My question to the industries and general world population is - how much of the previously mentioned do we freely show? As we speak, lemurs are being hunted down in Madagascar for their meat, poachers are killing tigers in South East Asia for their fur, the forest land in Europe is being demolished for farmland, and salmon in Russia and Alaska are disappearing thanks to the illegal caviar trade. How much do we, as inhabitants of the planet, know about our fellow citizens? Hardly anything. And the greatest injustice to them is the very fact that they were not the ones to build axes to chop down trees, that they did not build weapons to shoot us, that they relied on their inbuilt senses to deal with the harsh reality of life around them.

"So I end my long-winded soliloquy and leave you tonight with this nagging question: doesn't it seem like we are the only species in denial, as we are the only ones to have manipulated our environments to suit our needs - and mostly fancies?" Walden gestured wildly with his arms. "With that, I wish to announce that starting next week, the seeds and minerals generously donated to WaldenGreen from all over the world will be moved into the first vault of the Resource Kiln!"

Both Artemis and Sharmista clapped politely along with the thundering applause that follwed Walden's speech, but different thoughts were going through their minds. While Sharmista was really thinking deeply about Walden's speech (while simultaneously telling herself that he was the bad guy, and that she would now have to corner a rather nasty pixie), Artemis was more or less concerned with escaping Minerva. If he went backstage with Sharmista, she might be there, but if he stayed out in the hall, she would definitely notice him sitting alone and corner him. The only way for him to escape her sight was to tag along with 'Anita', who was now chewing her bottom lip in nervousness and frustration.

Sharmista turned to Artemis. "Gatsuki's gone backstage. Minerva Paradizo has left for the buffet with the Countess Armand." Artemis duly noted that the Countess was most probably the source who leaked his whereabouts to the French girl. "I'm going in for the kill."

Artemis stood up. "I'm coming with you."

Sharmista grinned. "What, scared of the she-wolf? You know blondes always have more fun."

"That may be true in movies, but I'd rather keep an eye on you and make sure you don't compromise us both."

"You can keep your eyes on me wherever you like, vampire boy. Now let's get the hell out of here."

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_**Constructive criticism and general reviews would be appreciated very much. Thanks for reading this far!**_


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